Saturday, July 20, 2013

Mistakes

I had a hard morning with my Sariah Vene.  It was hard on me.  It was hard on her.  We just couldn't get along, we couldn't talk to one another, and we were both emotionally exhausted by the time 11am hit.


It all started with a yard sale across the street.  One of our neighbors was having a yard sale and she really wanted to go see what there was.  Personally, I love finding treasures at yard sales and was excited to pass this treasure hunting skill on to my daughter.  We went into the house, opened up her piggy bank, and saw how much money she had.  I thought 50 cents would be enough, so that's what we got out.  When my back was turned, she got into James' piggy bank and took some money of his.  I don't think she did it maliciously...I just think she wanted some more money and knew that I didn't want her taking all of HER money.  So decided to supplement.  When I discovered what she had, I asked her to put it back and let her know that it is not alright to take her brother's money.  Meltdown #1.


Once we got that discussion under control, I went to get James so we could go look at the yard sale goods.  As James and I exit the garage, we see the garage door is open.  Sariah had left without permission, crossed the street on her own, and was in her tiny jammies and not dressed.  I sternly called her back and let her know that it is not alright to leave without permission, or while in shorts where your underwear is showing.  Meltdown #2.

She reluctantly stomps into the house to change.  She dilly-dallies.  By the time she is dressed, the yard sale has closed up shop and their garage door was down.  Who closes up a garage sale at 10:45am?!?  Anyhow, it was all over and now that she had her own money and was dressed...she couldn't even go over there.  Meltdown #'s 3, 4, and 5.

As only a hormonal teenage young woman can (and she's only 6!), she belly flopped onto her bed and just sobbed.  "I'm having a HARD morning, mom!" she cried.  And cried.  And cried.  I sat on the bed below hers and listened to her vent, yell, sob, and let it all out.  And then she mentioned the word.  Mistakes.  She had made a lot of mistakes that morning and was distraught.  So we talked about mistakes.  We talked about how it's alright to make mistakes because that's how we learn.  New mistakes - like taking your brother's money out of his piggy bank - are ones that we haven't made before.  We learn from them, and we remember not to do them anymore.  Old mistakes - like leaving the house without permission - are mistakes that are made a few times before we learn.  I was upset with her for that one, which made her even more upset.  But I reassured her - we all make mistakes.  It's how we learn.  It's how we grow.  And no matter what mistakes she makes, I love her.  I always will love her.  And we will always talk about them, and help each other through.

I love my girl.  But there are mornings like this that completely drain me.  I don't like arguing with my daughter.  I don't like getting upset at her.  I don't like lecturing her.  But I am her mother and it is my job to teach.  She doesn't always have to like it, but it is a divine responsibility.

We ended the morning by going swimming at my parent's house.  She loves to let the wind blow in her face.  That settled her down and we had a GLORIOUS afternoon together.


And then we reached bedtime.  Meltdown #'s 6 through I don't even want to count.  I hope we survive this.


2 comments:

Johnson-n-Johnson said...

You are an incredible example of showing afterwards an increase of love. I admire your ability to be strong and set aside friendship with your kids for structure and boundaries. Once again, you are a stellar example of womanhood and motherhood!

Johnson-n-Johnson said...

You are an incredible example of showing an increase of love afterwards. You are an incredible example of womanhood and motherhood I admire your courage to set friendship with your kids aside and offer structure and boundaries. You amaze me!