No Excuses

(My bootcamp buddy!)

I'm overweight. I have been since I was about 6 years old. This comes as no surprise to anyone, and I haven't ever really cared what anyone else thought of me. I was happy, I was athletic, and I was strong. I could squat more than half of the boys in high school, and I could ride a horse like nobody's business. I had a lot of muscle, and didn't ever think much about trying to be thin because I knew I never would be.

Fast forward to me a couple months ago. 30 years old. Still overweight. My body doesn't function quite like a normal person's. I have cysts on my ovaries, which complicates my blood sugar, which complicates a lot of things. But I'm still incredibly healthy! But in order for my body to function at its best, I had to eliminate flour and sugar from my diet. Not everyone has to do this but for me, my body, my mind...it's what I had to do.

Fast forward to today. Still 30 years old. No flour. No sugar. Bootcamp strength training on Tuesdays and Thursdays, and jogging on Monday, Wednesday, Friday. And guess what? I gained weight. Frustrated? If only there were the words. But still healthy! (Thank goodness.)

I met with my new doctor, who I ADORE. She and I are thinking there's a missing puzzle piece because the weight should be coming off steadily with what I am doing. But it's not. So we did a whole bunch of blood word to see if we can find something else going on that I wasn't aware of. This is really hard for me because I'm not one for excuses. I do what I need to do and for a while, the weight was coming off. But then it came right back on and I didn't change anything. Perplexing.

So if something comes back in my blood, such as a hormone that's out of whack or something, will I be happy? Sure because maybe it will be an easy "fix." But if nothing comes back and I'm still 100% perfectly healthy? I will be happy about being healthy, but I will be irritated about my inability to lose this. 2 weeks is my follow up! In the mean time, I have made an amazing friend who's a walking nutrition bible. She doesn't think she is, but she is a wealth of knowledge. I've been picking her brain, and she even sent me her workbook! EEK! I'll keep doing what I'm doing - no excuses, remember?!

In other thoughts...I can hardly believe how grown up Sariah is. She will be 5 in July and starting Kindergarten. She's as beautiful as ever, tall and lanky, but said to her dad last night for the first time when he asked her to get in the bath: "You can't make me!" Oh no?

She was in bed 5 minutes later with no bath, no story, and no song. She did get a prayer, but that kind of sass will not be tolerated. I doubt that is the last time that phrase is heard, but it will never be reinforced, validated, or accepted.
She is getting to be so thoughtful towards James, and really "mothers" him a lot. She is very vocal about all of her emotions - whether they be positive or negative. That is one thing I truly admire about her - she will tell you what she thinks no matter what! I always try to listen and allow her to get all of her feelings out because it helps her to feel better, and then she will be in a better place to listen to my reply. I hope she always comes to me to share what she is feeling and thinking...and I hope I always listen. Even if the topic is hard for me to swallow.
What she doesn't realize is that Heavenly Father knew I needed her more than she needed me. She was sent to our family to teach Jared and I things, and that she is. Love. This. Girl.