Sunday, January 4, 2009


I need some help. PLEASE give me some advice!!!

First, let me give you some background.

When I was pregnant with Sariah, I truly wanted to have a natural birth. Personally, I believe that Americans are over-medicated and have a tendency to turn natural processes into medical drama. Please don't get me wrong - C-sections are mostly necessary, and hospitals are there for a reason. I wanted to have Sariah in the hospital, but I wanted to do it naturally. I had no idea what would happen, and I wanted the comfort of being in a hospital should something go wrong.

I did a ton of research, read many books, took birthing classes at our local birth center and was completely comfortable with the birthing process. Plus, my doctor is absolutely amazing and I didn't want anyone else there but her. My doctor supported me, and was on board with my desires. She had her two children naturally and was fully supportive of the process.

Delivery day came, and my doctor was out of town. Instead, one of her partners delivered me. This doctor is amazing, but extremely conservative. Here's what I didn't think needed to happen:

1. My water broke, and I was contracting regularly. When I arrived at the hospital, I was dialted to a 5 (after an hour of labor) and quickly progressing. This doctor wanted to give me pitocin - I asked her not to. I didn't feel it was necesssary. She would not give up, nor respect my decision not to have pitocin. Frankly, she made me feel stupid for wanting to have a natural birth. I gave in (silly me) and the pitocin came. Immediately, the contractions changed from bearable to unbearable and I broke down and asked for an epidural.

2. I didn't want an episiotemy. In my research, it was stated several times that tearing naturally was much better for the body than having an artificial cut. If I was going to tear, then so be it. My doctor told me AFTER she gave me one that she had done it. I was upset.

3. My nurse was...interesting. I felt like I was ready to push, and asked her to check me. She wouldn't call the doctor until she had checked. Her answer? "Honey, you've only been in labor for 4 hours. There is no way you are ready to push, espeically since this is your first baby." Thankfully, the doctor walked in 2 minutes later, checked me, and Sariah was out 3 pushes later.

All in all, Sariah's birth was picture-perfect. I was in labor for 6 hours total, and she was a healthy 8 pounds 2 ounces. I healed just fine, and things were great. However, I KNOW that I could have done it naturally, and am quite upset that I had a doctor who wouldn't listen to me. My doctor isn't that way at all, but there's always a chance that she won't be there again for this baby.

So here's where I need the help. Typically, labors with the 2nd baby are much quicker than the first. I am trying to decide if I want to go to the birth center (which is on a hospital campus here in town), or stay with my doctor. Or, maybe find a Doula to be with me at the hospital? I just don't know. My doctor won't deliver someone unless they are on their back (consequently the most painful way to deliver a baby). A birth center has most of the medical equipment needed for an emergency (crash cart, etc.) should anything go unplanned. Also, at the birth center, you aren't hooked up to an IV. I can get up and move freely, and deliver in any position I feel comfortable. At the same time, I love my doctor and know that things will be different if she is able to deliver this baby.

Any advice? Know of a Doula I can talk to? I'd love to hear it all!


Aubry said...

you should talk to Ariella, who had Grant, her last, in a birthing center. She LOVED it. She gave birth in a tub and said it was wonderful. Her labors are quick like to her

Sarah said...

i say go for the birthing center! i have yet to do it but have done a lot of research and want to do one next time! check it out! do what you want to do! i know several people who have had their babies in birthing centers and loved it too!

Tucson Mom said...

Do what you want to do and don't be afraid to stand your ground this time! I learned that lesson after my second child was born.

Aaron and Jessica said...

My mom was quick in all her labors (4) as well. She had to consistently tell them she needed to be checked, etc and most of the time she was right and the doctors or nurses just think they always know what is best. In fact, a nurse had to deliver my brother because the doctor couldn't even get into the room fast enough after she arrived there-that's how fast she was.
Anyway, then there's me who after 8 hours of labor and pushing for 1 1/2 hrs Brady was in distress with his head stuck and I had to have a c-section. So because I am a worrier somewhat in these things now I would much rather go the hospital route especially because of what happened to us the first time around. But that is my own experience and obviously they will be monitoring you and the baby and will also know if there is anything that needs to be done to make you or the baby safer. I think you should go with your gut and stand your ground in the hospital or wherever you decide. I think they always think they know best and that a mother in labor can never make sound decisions but I don't think that's true. That's why you make the decision ahead of time just like you did. So, I know this is a long response but my point is that if you have done the research and know what you want (and you still have time to do more) then you should get what you want!

TucsonBrowns said...

I need a hospital and drugs and had to fight for that with my first two.

Make a decision and pray about it and stick with it.