Thursday, June 11, 2009

Arguing With Myself

Yesterday, I was 37 weeks. I had my doctor's appointment today, and things still really aren't happening. This is frustrating to me because by this time with Sariah, I was already dilated to a 2, and my cervix was almost gone. I know each pregnancy is different, and it is just starting to hit home about how true that is. I am not yet dilated, but my cervix is starting to soften - which I guess is better than the other way around.

During my appointment, my doctor had to run across the street and deliver a baby. Thus, I finished up my appointment with her nurse, whom I LOVE as well. She was a L&D nurse for 19 years at the hospital, so she's the doctor when the doctor isn't around.

We got to talking about my sciatica. How painful it really is (because I can be real with her). Here is how our conversation went:

NURSE: I see that you're wanting to do this naturally. Would you consider an epidural?

ME: Not really. I don't feel that I will need one, and I know I can do what my body was made to do.

NURSE: I love hearing women who are comfortable with what their bodies were made to do because it makes birth a much more significant experience. I don't want to sway you, but I would like to tell you something that you may want to think about. You are already having severe lower back pain. Women who are in labor experience this kind of pain. But you are a special case because you will have labor back pain, along with the sciatica. This CAN make labor excruciating for SOME women (emphasis not added - she really said it like that).

ME: Oh dear, I didn't think of that. I guess that does give me something to think about. I appreciate your honesty, and I am thankful for your honesty.

So there you have it - we just don't know what is going to happen. So, here are some of my thoughts thus far.

1. My doctor goes out of town on June 29. My due date is July 1. This means I have until Friday, June 26 at 5pm to deliver my baby if I want my doctor to be the one to do it.

2. IF I am going to consider an epidural, then I MAY consider being induced. Truth be told, there are a lot of positives to being induced!!

3. IF I am induced, then my doctor will definitely be the one to deliver James.

4. BUT, I don't want to be induced on my doctor's schedule.

5. If I choose not to be induced, then her partners will probably deliver James. I've never met them. Will they treat me, and my desires, the same as my doctor is?

I am having a serious internal battle. I am just not sure what to do. I know what I want, but hearing that my lower back discomfort may make my wants a bit unreachable makes me a little frustrated.

Here's what I THINK I'm going to do. Wait 1 more week. I'll pray really hard, and not take it easy anymore, and see if I can help my body along with some change. When I am checked next week, I'll see what my doctor recommends and we'll make a decision from there.

Any advice?


annieareyouok said...

even if you are induced while your doc is in town there is still no guarantee that they will deliver your baby anyway. i wanted natural child birth, but since the cord was around the baby's neck they thought i would have to have a c-section (something i REALLY didn't want) and had to have an epidural just in case we had to go that route. that being said .... you have very little, if any, control over any of this! lol all you can control is your attitude. it will all be fine and the baby will arrive soon and you won't believe how you spent so much time worrying about it. you already know what you want to do in your heart.... so do it! best of luck! i'll be thinking of you and your little one.

Matthew and Courtney said...

I say you go in next Thursday night or Friday so that you will have the baby over Father's Day weekend when Matt, the peanut and I will be there!

Sarah said...

you see dr. hutchison at copper somethin (i can't remember the whole name, it's been to long! i actually saw dr. hutchison when i was 1st prego with makayle, 8 years ago!) ob/gyn? i have heard all the doctors there are great. that was one great plus to working in a pharmacy, you could ask all the patients about their doctors and get the skinny on the good and bad ones. so, don't worry about the other docs there. go with what you and the doctor feel is best! it will all turn out well in the end!